My life is basically a disaster right now. In every area, in every way. What I really need is to start over. I need to figure out what I want to do / what I need to make me healthy and happy / and how to start living again. I’m like a shadow of my former self, and I hate it.
The problem is: I can’t figure out how to start over while married. I can’t just pack everything up and move to start fresh in a new place. I can’t ‘visit’ my parents for a month or two to save some money, remember who I am, and then venture forth into the world refreshed. I’m feeling tied down and without options. I don’t want to NOT be married. I love my husband and want to be with him. But somehow I’ve gotten lost.
Here’s the plan:
1. Get a job.
2. Hang out with my friends more often.
3. Join some new groups, go to the knitting groups more often, meet some new people.
4. Make a plan to move in September. Make sure we can afford it.
5. Exercise.
I’m not sure if this will actually help.
Lately I feel like packing a change of clothes and leaving.
I feel like a traitor to my feminist / Smith roots.
I feel like a traitor to myself.
Ana said,
April 6, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Hey there, i live in Allston (also looking to move in September) and also a member of Ravelry (ParrotTalkBack). If you’re looking for a knitting group, I go to Stitch & Bitch on Wednesday nights (6pm-9pm) at Spark Craft Studio at Porter Square. It’s a great group!